Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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