You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
