i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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