Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
