Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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