I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
