So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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