I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
