Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
