He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
So here I am, sexting at work.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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