very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
