you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
