apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
