are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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