Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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