Don't you send me to vm
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
