Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
