do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
