I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
