Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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