Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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