I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
