My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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