I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
