no, he came in my armpit
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
