.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
