Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
