What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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