my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
