Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
