STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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