In the future we'll all be gay
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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