dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
