If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
