Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Screwed.edu
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm like, not good at living.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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