OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize