thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
