wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
