Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
