were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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