I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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