Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
