before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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