He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
