I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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