so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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