It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
