WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
