his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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