im about as happy as oj after his trial
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
